Did you know that you can always stand up for what you want? Especially when someone in a lab coat is suggesting their way of doing things.
In order to stand up for what you want though, you need to know what you want! It feels really good to recognize your feelings and stand up for yourself. This applies to EVERY aspect of life, too.
It’s not always an easy thing to do; recognizing my feelings, wants and needs has taken me years of work. Like challenging work, where I want to dig my heels in and say, “can I just go back to the ignorant young irresponsible version of myself, please?!” and it’s still a work in progress (I imagine it always will be!). I’ve learned to recognize the icky feeling that comes with not expressing myself clearly, and that’s what feels so gratifying when I successfully do. It’s a real confidence builder too! So, time to get vulnerable because if I can help one of you with my experiences it’s 100% worth it!
Yesterday morning I went into the dentist for a deep cleaning; something I had been putting off for a while. A deep cleaning, for those of you that don’t know, is the more aggressive cleaning that’s needed when your dental hygienist finds plaque more than 3mm below your gumline. It usually requires two sessions, one for each side of your mouth (insurance only covers one at a time and it’s uncomfortable), where Novocain is injected into your gums by your dental hygienist so that he or she can really dig out the bacteria from under your gums. I get so nervous about the big metal numbing needle poking into my gums (and you know that gross numb uncomfortable feeling for the few hours after you leave the dentist where you’re trying not to bite your tongue/cheek and your face feels like a numb blob? YUCK), so I expressed that I wanted to try it without, and my dental hygienist thankfully agreed! In the past I would have NOT SAID A WORD and just done whatever the people in scrubs told me to do, I didn’t know I had another choice even, but I’ve learned that we always have a choice in these situations. MY WAY of doing this deep cleaning included plugging into my air pods and listening to a super relaxing chakra balancing meditation while taking long slow deep diaphragmatic breaths through my nose with absolutely no shame of looking like a crazy person. There were a few moments that I thought, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS I THINKING!” and my super caring dental hygienist encouraged me by saying I was stronger than I thought. I reframed the poking at my gums to be a “healing” (by clearing out all the bad stuff) pain and wow did I feel so good when it was done! Now, I’m not saying that opting out of Novocain is for everyone, but I am saying to question the way things are typically done in medical offices if you don’t feel good about it, or if you’re simply feeling uncomfortable. If your dentist or doctor has a problem with you asking questions, then you’ve got your answer (find a new dentist/doctor!!!!).
I learned this the hard way. A couple of years ago I had an abnormal Pap smear (feel free to stop reading and x out of this post if this is TMI!) result. Naturally, I freaked out when I got the call from my gynecologist, and he said that I needed to come in for a colposcopy. A colposcopy to a pap smear is like what the deep cleaning is to a normal teeth cleaning. The gynecologist examines your vagina looking through the lens of a colposcope, which is a magnifying instrument, and then swabs both your cervix and vagina to clear away any mucus. My gynecologist used a vinegar solution, which apparently lights up if there are any areas that need to be biopsied (where they remove small piece of tissue using a sharp instrument- yes painful!). None of the areas lit up in my cervix, but the doctor said he wanted to take a biopsy anyways, and me laying there on the table with my legs open, and him literally in my cervix I nervously said OK. It was more painful than I thought it would be and I went home crying. Upon reflection I realized, I can handle the pain, but what hurt the most was that I didn’t feel like I weighed my options and had a voice in the situation. I was scared and in a vulnerable position (literally!) when I agreed. After talking with friends, I realized that although in a compromised state, I had options! I have a friend that did the procedure and felt fine, another that shared my experience, and I have a couple friends that refused to do it all together and just waited for their next pap to decide (which ended up being normal).
I am sooo not advocating to ignore your doctor’s advice (it’s incredibly important to listen to everything he or she suggests and even get more than one doctor’s opinion when necessary), but I am advocating to take your time and not make any decision from a place of fear. I was so scared when I got the abnormal result, and had no idea how common it was, and how often it works itself out on its own or isn’t an issue to begin with. Yes, it’s good to be safe and not sorry so all in all I’m grateful I’m ok, but I would have been most comfortable repeating a normal pap in a few months. This is the moment where I realized that anytime going forward, I would feel safe taking space to take a few deep breaths at the least, or that I would go home and think my options, before making any medical decisions. It’s helped me a lot in the last couple of years (yesterday at the dentist was one great little example!), and I hope it empowers you to do the same if you’re not already! Listen to your body, listen to your wants and needs, and stand up for your feelings in any situation (will discuss relationships in a different post!), and especially when it feels like someone wearing a lab coat is forcing you to do things their way.
What are some experiences you’ve had where you gave your decision-making power to someone else? Some examples could be taking a medication without doing your own research and finding out issues later, agreeing to a procedure your body didn’t necessarily want, or going on a particular protocol out of fear. Please leave your comments below!
With Love, Light and Blissful Balance,
Sabrina <3
P.S. I’d like to say thank you to all the doctors, nurses, and people in scrubs or lab coats out there. I really appreciate all that you do <3
Disclaimer: This is not medical advice and I’m not a doctor (clearly). I’m simply here to share my experiences and opinions. If you have a different opinion, great, and I’d love to hear it if you’d be so kind as to share in a conversational way. Thanks for following along!
